I really liked this! Short but sweet. The length is a good way to introduce readers to your style, but it also has enough choices and different endings that it provokes readers to want to keep coming back for more. I do think we need a little more insight into the main character's thoughts. We know they want to be a famous author, and you said they're supposed to be snobby about it, so really hammer that in. Snobby artists are always throwing their art in your face, so let it be blatantly clear that MC is the "too good for you" type. I'd also like to know why they resort to murder instead of talking it out. Some history of violent thoughts or tendencies of our MC would do wonders. Overall, I loved the writing style. You really brought us into a colorful world of the macabre. The use of the capital HIM did a good job at showing just how important and hated this HIM is in MC's life. Also, this reminds me, we need a clear indication of where HE came from. Is he a neighbor or a roommate? It's never quite stated. Long story short, I loved this piece and want to read more from you. Your graphic description of the dead eyes was vivid. Nice murder!!
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Well done
A quick play and read
I won't ruin anything but it's a thought out take on the nature of life.
I really liked this! Short but sweet. The length is a good way to introduce readers to your style, but it also has enough choices and different endings that it provokes readers to want to keep coming back for more. I do think we need a little more insight into the main character's thoughts. We know they want to be a famous author, and you said they're supposed to be snobby about it, so really hammer that in. Snobby artists are always throwing their art in your face, so let it be blatantly clear that MC is the "too good for you" type. I'd also like to know why they resort to murder instead of talking it out. Some history of violent thoughts or tendencies of our MC would do wonders. Overall, I loved the writing style. You really brought us into a colorful world of the macabre. The use of the capital HIM did a good job at showing just how important and hated this HIM is in MC's life. Also, this reminds me, we need a clear indication of where HE came from. Is he a neighbor or a roommate? It's never quite stated. Long story short, I loved this piece and want to read more from you. Your graphic description of the dead eyes was vivid. Nice murder!!